A classic example

Two children are arguing about an orange. Their mother stops the argument by cutting the orange into two equal-sized halves and giving one half to each child. But both children are unsatisfied, sad and disappointed. The children cannot quite fulfill their needs with only half an orange. The mother made a compromise.

There is another answer to the argument: The mother could have asked both children what they wanted to use the orange for. This would have been the only way to find out, that one of the children wanted to have the orange in order to press out the juice because the child is thirsty. And that the other child needed the orange peel to back a cake. Then, the mother could have asked both children to make suggestions for possible solutions. After that, both children would have had to agree on a suggestion which they both considered fair.

The solution is simple here: One child will get the juice and the other one the peel.

What happened when choosing the second solution?

The mother identified the real needs of her children and let them look for a solution which both children had to agree on. The argument has been settled to everyone’s satisfaction. The mother succeeded in finding an appropriate solution for everybody when creating a win-win situation and solving the problem in a profitable way. In this context, it is important that the possible solutions for the conflict were suggested by the children and not their mother and that the children had to agree on one suggestion.

The argument was settled by means of a mediation.